


Izaya Encounters the Children of Today

by SomniSol



Category: Durarara!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2055771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomniSol/pseuds/SomniSol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya is on a little trip when he observes human behavior that he's not too familiar with, in the smallest of humans that is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Izaya Encounters the Children of Today

This weekend was supposed to a fun little trip for the famous informant of Shinjuku. Although it was for work, he always found lots of time to enjoy himself. However he made some stunning observations about the youth in these parts. Maybe he was just getting a little paranoid, or it was just some coincidence.

On this little excursion to America, he had to dig up some information on one of the most notorious gangs in the United States. It was called, Mara Salvatrucha. Izaya didn’t think much of them. To him they were just another gang. They did the same typical things of what were expected: drug trafficking, prostitution, black market gun sales, etc. They were just more predictable humans. And surprisingly it really wasn’t hard to find information on them. So much for the FBI. 

Soon after he arrived in America, he wasted no time. Doing some undercover investigation, which included sporting a mini skirt and crop top that accentuated his feminine curves, drugging up some gangsters on their own supply, and even having to pull out his switchblade a couple times. Long story short, he successfully finished his job. He laughed at how boringly simple this job was. 

Once he had gathered all the information he needed, he e-mailed Shiki-san a thorough report. After receiving the okay, he thought that it would just be best to use his remaining time in America observing his precious humans. 

Deciding to go the nearest park he saw, he sat down on the bench that was full of graffiti. The park looked run down yet some parents were still there, watching over their children. Izaya found interest in a certain group. They weren’t playing around in fact they were all crowded together texting, taking selfies, calling each other ‘ratchet?’ Isn’t that a tool? 

Being the shameless Izaya that he was, he walked right up the group of young children. 

“What are you kids talking about?”

He was glad that he was fluent in English. The language was a pain at first, but over the years he had perfected his accent to sound very much American. 

“None of your business.” A small girl grimaced at him. 

She wore extremely short shorts that should just be considered panties by now, a neon yellow tube top which did nothing to help her already flat chest, some matching flip flops, and her hair was shaved on one side, leaving the other half to fall loosely to her shoulders. On top of that a little bit of makeup could be seen on her cheeks and around her eyes. All in all, nothing she wore, flattered her. She just looked like a little brat.

Izaya smirked, wagging his finger side to side, “You already broke rule number one. Didn’t you parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”

“Yeah, and they told me not to talk to crazy ass f%#s like you. And what’s up with that stupid jacket? It looks gay!” She snapped back, earning an ‘Ooooh!’ from her friends.

Izaya’s smirk never faltered. Such petty insults didn’t affect him. These children were all talk no game, and that’s all they will ever be.

“Why don’t you get lost you f@%cking pedo.” Another boy piped up. 

This one looked ridiculous. Not only was he shorter than the first girl, he was scrawny too! He wore little black skinny jeans that were being held up right below his ass by a cheap belt. His shoes looked much too bulky for his tiny figure and made him look like a clown. His black graphic T-shirt has a picture of Donkey Kong on it. Izaya could safely assume that the shirt was from that popular store, Hot Topic, and that the boy has probably never even played the original Donkey Kong. The boy also wore a pair of nerdy sunglasses and a green cap that had the TMNT logo on the front. 

“My my, what a potty mouth. But don’t flatter yourselves children. No one in their right mind would desire any of you. Only the truly desperate would.” 

Izaya chuckled when their expressions changed into adorable little infuriated faces.

“Shut up! My older cousin will beat the crap out of you!” another blurted out.

This made Izaya break out in a fit of laughter. His cackling caught the young ones off guard.

“HAHAHAHA! Silly little girl, you shouldn’t make empty threats.” In that instant he brought out his switchblade. The click startled the kids as they slowly took a few steps back.

“There is no one you can send that can beat me. I’ve dealt with gangs, cops, idiots with guns and even an army of knife wielding slaves. Only one man can be considered to be on the same level as me, and even I can avoid the vending machines he throws at me.”

“You’re crazy! That’s impossible.” The girl scowled.

“You are a hideous little beast who will never be anything more than some man’s sloppy seconds. I’m sure you only dress that way because your parents don’t care and you most likely are trying to be like an older sibling of yours. A much older, prettier, cooler, sister?”

When she looked away with a hurt expression, Izaya grinned at his victory.

“And you,” he turned to the boy, “well you’re just the same as her. But the only difference is that you actually belong in some bug infested motel wearing nothing but a sailor cap. Grown men would pay for a pretty little thing like you.” Izaya ran his finger underneath his chin, causing him to shiver.

“Leave us alone you creep!” Another girl cried out.

Izaya noticed her as well. She was in some nice clothes but Izaya knew better. She wore a sparkly blue tank top that had a studded ‘LMFAO’ at the top. Her jeggings had a crooked print that was more than obvious. Her ‘converse’ were just cheap knock offs, with the name all-stars on them. Sure she had a somewhat pretty face, but nothing that really stood out. Except, what’s this?

Izaya leaned over and pulled out the price tag from the back of the girl’s tank top. She flinched at the contact and then swung her fist. Izaya brought his other hand up and caught her skinny little wrist. 

“Ah, ah. Look what we have here. Normally a young lady wouldn’t care about showing off how much she spends, but at $2.99 I sure would be embarrassed for anyone to see this. I’m sure most of your clothes are hand-me downs, or just off the clearance rack, ne?”

She struggled out of his grip and he let her go, causing her to land on the pavement with a painful, thump!

“You kids are nothing. You think of yourselves as one of the crowd. It amuses me to see how highly you think of yourselves, but alas, you are merely pathetic little human beings. Nothing more, but probably less. However I love you all, so much. You might be rotten little snot nosed brats, but you’re mine.”

He held the blade up to first girl’s throat. He eyes widen and her eyes filled with tears.

“You act as if you fear nothing, but in the end there is always that fear in your eyes that just captivates me. I live to see those precious moments.”

She cried out, “Please! I’m sorry! Don’t kill me!”

Izaya held a maniacal grin, “Aw, poor little girl. You know women and children are always easier to mess with. You say and do the right things and the break down crying."

“Don’t hurt her! We’re really sorry!” the boy pleaded.

Izaya turned to see the other girl had finally come to her senses and held her phone out dialing out an emergency number. But before she could, he brought his foot down, knocking her phone to the ground. He let go of the first girl and stomped on the pink phone until it was nothing but little cracked pieces. His laughter filled the air once more, as he enjoyed their bizarre looks.

When he looked back at their faces, one scary looking smile was all it took to send them running. Most likely running to their parents. Izaya didn’t care. He’d be gone by tomorrow night. He hoped that he left a remarkable impression on those three. 

He thought long and hard about it. He’s dealt with people who acted like that, but they certainly weren’t children. They were adolescents and people his age, not a bunch of 8 year olds playing it cool at the park. As much as he love humans, those children were just annoying. Of course not as much as Shizu-chan, but they were up there. 

He remembered back to when he was their age. He was smart, clever, he was purposefully a jerk. Well he was a total jerk and he still is, but he didn’t mind, his personality made life more fun. As remembered more and more, he could remember disrespecting his elders and threatening some people here and there. But what made him different from those kids was that he wasn’t afraid to do something. 

He could go taunting some yakuza member and easily get away, leaving the man with a few cuts. Izaya was never afraid to face danger, in fact he was the total opposite. He like the thrill and the rush he felt whenever he was put into one of those situations. He enjoyed the chase, which is why he would always seek out his favorite monster.

Izaya smiled to himself when he heard the sirens off in the distance. Too bad he was already long gone.

_How typical, they called the cops._

**Author's Note:**

> Have you ever seen that one Maury show where the little kids were completely out of control? I did, it's sad but amusing. Look it up on youtube, I dare you ;)
> 
> I've had my fair share of encounters with kids like these, some way worse than described. In fact I don't think I did a good job of truly showing how bad kids are nowadays. My 6 year old sis acts like one of those girls at MY school who just ruin my day. And I don't mean to sound like an old fart because I'm only 17.
> 
> And please don't get defensive about how I described these kids. You know by their style, and the stuff they do like the whole selfies, texting, and ratchet thing (seriously its just a tool). No I don't dress like them. I shop at clearance, so what? I wear hand-me-downs (doesn't everybody at some point?) no I don't take selfies (it's annoying to see them everyday on FB), yes I text friends, and a big fat NO! I do not say ratchet (as stated before, it's a tool people!)  
> the way I described them is just like I remembered from past experiences, so no, I'm not saying that people who do the things from above are bad, just maybe some. PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.   
> (*points at Izaya* it was all him.   
> Izaya: Hey! )
> 
> So anyways I wrote how I thought Izaya would react to these kinds of kids. It was fun. 
> 
> What are you're thoughts on this little short story? On the topic? Your opinions? Arguments? Agree? Disagree?


End file.
